What is prayer all about? Clement of Alexandria, a popular teacher of the early Church, put it simply: “Prayer is conversation with God.” Centuries later, St. Thérèse of Lisieux offered a similar sentiment, only more poetically:
“For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.”
Like any conversation, it goes both ways. We talk to God, and He talks to us.
God loves us more than we can imagine. He wants us to get to know and love Him as a Father. Like any loving parent, He wants to spend time talking with His children. As we begin the Jubilee Year in which many are focused more on prayer, here are some commonly asked questions about the topic:
Q. What kind of conversation am I supposed to have?
A. Think of it this way: Imagine that someone saved your life through an act of great personal sacrifice. What kind of conversation would you want to have with that kind of benefactor?
You would no doubt want to offer an earnest thank you. You would be eager to praise the person’s kindness, generosity and selflessness. You would probably ask, “How can I ever repay you?”
Now think about what God has done for us. He created us and gives us life. Every good gift we have is from Him. When the human race turned away from Him and lost its way because of sin,
He made the most precious sacrifice possible to save us and bring us back to Himself: He sent His own son, Jesus Christ, to die for us.
What kind of conversation should you have with that kind of benefactor? For starters, you can express to Him sincere praise and thanks.
Q. Doesn’t prayer include asking God for something?
A. Of course! Think of a small child who is hungry. If the child comes to his father asking for food, the dad is delighted to answer that request. And if human fathers, Jesus reminded us, know how to give good gifts to their children when asked, “How much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Mt 7:9-11).
In fact, most of the Our Father is devoted to this important aspect of prayer: petition. We ask God to provide for us (“our daily bread”), guide us (“lead us not into temptation”) and protect us (“deliver us from evil”). He cares about us, and He’s delighted to answer our prayers. “Have no anxiety about anything,” St. Paul insisted, “but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God” (Phil 4:6). Just tell God what you need.
Q. What about praying for others?
A. Another important aspect of praying is intercession, which is prayer for others. St. Paul urged that intercessions “be made for all” (1 Tm 2:1).
Everyone has some need for God’s help. It’s your privilege to ask for it on their behalf. Even if you know that they themselves are praying, you can join them in their requests. Our heavenly
Father is pleased to see His children helping one another that way.
When you pray for others, you find that your own life changes. Your heart grows warmer toward people in need. You’re not as upset by the difficulties in your own life, because you’re more aware of the troubles other people have. You find yourself more willing to help people in other ways as well.
It’s not easy, but God calls us to pray even for our enemies. Jesus set the example. As He died on the cross, He prayed for His killers: “Father, forgive them” (Lk 23:34). Praying for people who have offended or injured us actually makes it easier to forgive them and to see them more as God sees them.
Q. Does God always hear our prayers?
A. We can have the same confidence Jesus had when he prayed: “Father … I (know) that you always hear me” (Jn 11:42). And God not only hears our prayers; He answers them as well. Nevertheless, His answer isn’t always the one we’re hoping to hear.
Sometimes we ask for the wrong things – things we would regret having if He gave them to us. Sometimes what we want doesn’t fit into the bigger, wiser plan He has for us and for those around us. Sometimes He’s allowing us to develop patience or to grow in some other way.
In any case, we can always pray to God in faith. That doesn’t mean we try to convince ourselves that everything we ever ask for, we’ll receive. Instead, it means that we pray with trust in the
Father who listens to our prayers, confident that He wants what’s best for us; He knows what’s best for us; and He’s able to give us what’s best for us. Our prayers should always ask for God’s will.
Q. How do I find the right words to pray?
A. God listens even when we’re not sure what to say. Catholics often pray using composed prayers. It’s called formal prayer, because it has a set “form,” rather than being spontaneous.
Jesus gave us a formal prayer when He taught his disciples the Lord’s Prayer (Mt 6:9-12). He and His apostles used formal prayers in worship, often from the Psalms, because this was the ancient custom of the Jewish people. The Church has followed their example in the Mass and in other settings. When Catholics pray using the words given us in Scripture and tradition, we are guided by these formal prayers as we search for words to express ourselves to God.
When we make these common prayers our own, we find ourselves praying in unity with the whole Church. We become part of a timeless, global community of prayer, a sign that we all belong
to “the household of God” (Eph 2:19).
An easy way to remember the different kinds of prayer is ACTS: A= Adoration; C= Contrition; T = Thanksgiving; and S = Supplication.
Q. How do I know when God is talking?
A. First, it’s important to give Him time to talk, a few quiet moments when you’re listening for him. On those occasions you may have thoughts or impressions come into your mind from God: a word of comfort, a solution to a problem, a prompting to take a particular action.
There are other ways to listen to God as well. Reading Scripture or spiritual books may allow Him to speak to you through the printed word. God may speak through others who say that you came to mind during their own prayer time. Sometimes God simply answers you through situations.
If you think God is saying something that puzzles or disturbs you, it’s a good idea to talk it over with a priest or another trusted friend.
Q. When should I pray?
A. We can pray anytime, of course, since God is always listening. Many Catholics even say little “mini-prayers” throughout the day as they go about their business, such as “Thank you, Lord,” or “Jesus, help me.” But over the centuries believers have also developed habits of praying at certain hours because they found it helped them to recognize God and seek His will at important junctures of the day.
Many people, for example, dedicate the day to God as soon as they wake up. Asking God’s blessing is an important way to begin meals and recognize our dependence on His provision. At bedtime, many Catholics review the day as it closes, examine their consciences, and say a prayer of confession and contrition.
— OSV News
How often should we go to Mass? Practicing Catholics know that it’s important to attend Mass on Sundays, but every now and then a “holy day of obligation” may sneak up on us if we aren’t paying attention to the liturgical calendar.
These are days that usually carry the same obligation to participate at Mass as a Sunday. Coming out of the holiday season, we just had two of them: The Nativity of the Lord on December 25 and the Solemnity of Mary, Mother of God, on January 1. It seems fitting to mark both the end and beginning of the year with special days of worship.
In addition to those, there are four other days in the United States when the faithful are obliged to worship at Mass. Those are the solemnities of the Ascension of the Lord on Thursday of the sixth week of Easter (which is transferred to Sunday in many provinces), the Assumption of Mary on August 15, All Saints Day on November 1, and the Immaculate Conception on December 8. These are the days, in addition to Sundays, that the Church has decided also carry a special obligation due to the importance of the mysteries they commemorate.
According to Canon Law, our obligation on Sundays and these certain other holy days is to participate in the Mass and “to abstain from those works and affairs which hinder the worship to be rendered to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s day, or the suitable relaxation of mind and body” (CIC 1247). This is how Christians observe the divine command to “remember the sabbath and keep it holy” (Ex 20:8). We refrain from servile work so that we may be free to worship, but also to celebrate and relax. The joy and rest of the Lord’s Day should be something of a foretaste of the joy and rest of heaven.
A blessing or a burden?
That the Church obliges us to set aside certain days for worship and rest sounds like a blessing – and it is – but the sad reality is that many Catholics receive it as more of a burden. According to the Pew Research Center, only 28% of Catholics surveyed in the United States say they attend Mass weekly, and at most parishes, the pews are emptier on other holy days than they are on Sundays, Christmas being the lone exception.
To be fair, the obligation to worship on Sundays and holy days is not an absolute obligation. If it were, there would never be a valid reason to miss Mass. But it is a serious obligation, which means Mass should only be missed for serious reasons. The Catechism of the Catholic Church mentions illness or the care of infants as examples (CCC 2181). Dangerous travel conditions would be another. It is no sin if you cannot get to Mass due to circumstances beyond your control.
A matter of justice
But many who can come to Mass simply don’t. The reasons are many, but one is a modern tendency to eschew the notion of obligation. We don’t like having expectations forced upon us or being told what to do. This is why some have taken to speaking of “holy days of opportunity” in an attempt to make worship sound like more of a gift than a chore.
To be able to worship the Almighty God in the Eucharistic sacrifice is indeed a great gift. But it is also something we are bound to do as a matter of justice, which is why the Church rightly speaks of an obligation to participate at Mass. Justice imposes obligations on us in many arenas. Justice obliges us to obey laws as members of a society. It obliges us to care for our home as members of a family. If obliges us to perform our job duties well.
The virtue of charity also comes with obligations. It may sound loving to say, “I cook dinner for my family not because I have to but because I want to,” but it is more reflective of charity to say,
“I cook dinner for my family even when I don’t want to because I love them.” Being dutiful in our obligations even when it’s inconvenient is an important way we show our love for others.
Perhaps we don’t appreciate our obligation to worship because we have forgotten that it is not principally for ourselves.
For the good of all
People today often speak about what they “get out of” going to Mass – and indeed, the spiritual benefits are great! But the priests of ancient Israel chiefly offered sacrifice to God on behalf of others. They understood their work of worship to be for the good of the people. This is why Israel adopted the Greek word “leitourgia” (a public work) to describe their sacred worship. It is from this term that we derive the word “liturgy.” Liturgical worship is not a matter of private piety but a work done for the good of the people.
Christ offered himself as the perfect sacrificial offering to the Father once and for all. By virtue of our baptism, Christians are made part of His Body and part of His offering. That means we have a part to play in Christ’s sacrifice. The Eucharist is how we participate sacramentally in that offering. The liturgy is the work of the whole Body of Christ, and when part of the Body is missing, it affects the whole. This is why the Church obliges us to participate in Mass on certain days; not out of an authoritarian need for control, but because our presence matters. You matter – and when you are not there, you are missed! See you at Mass!
— Deacon Matthew Newsome is the Catholic campus minister at Western Carolina University and the author of “The Devout Life: A Modern Guide to Practical Holiness with St. Francis de Sales,” available from Sophia Institute Press.